Death by Hanging

It was revealed yesterday in the police inquest that British fashion designer Alexander McQueen hung himself. Suicide was the unofficial finding. When his death was announced on the morning of February 11th, the world was shocked. The Industry in particular was devastated to hear of his death. McQueen was enormously talented, taking risks few others did both in design and presentation. He was known as the bad boy of the fashion world. As one of the articles about him said, " he seemed to sense that the fashion industry needed it's buttons pushed." And push he did. But he had a dark side too. One that was always present in his work. Lagerfeld said it, "There was always some attraction to death...." After which he concluded, "Who knows, perhaps after flirting with death too often, death attracts you."

Maybe it did and then maybe it didn't. In some ways though Lagerfeld's opinion just sounds a bit overly simplistic for my liking.

I suppose that over time more will come out about his private life and his history, maybe even enough for the world to draw some concrete conclusions. Then maybe not. I'm sure that there also will be at least one unauthorized tell all book, written in haste, drawing conclusions from fog and mirror but mostly from innuendo; designed to sell solely based on it's sensationalism. And for me that will be the very saddest of things, that he will have, in my opinion, died in vain; without a true, full, and honest societal discussion about the causes of his Dark Side. And to be quite frank I would not be at all surprised if that is the eventual outcome.

But that doesn't mean I can't start some dialogue going here though.

Now I can't speak for British societal trends as I am not a citizen, but I can speak though from an amateur's point of view about our society. We are a nation founded and based for the most part on the Protestant tradition, and not a mainline one either. It may seem that way now, but back then the Anabaptists and others who fled England were the true religious radicals of their day. They challenged convention thinking and they were heavily persecuted for it. Fleeing to the New World they brought with them all of their extreme ideas; and it is those very principles; pull yourself up by your bootstraps, family and church loyalty, the Protestant work ethic, among others; that have found their way into the bedrock of our societal thinking. The more treacherous of their ideas, the ones that have been honed over the centuries by subsequent preachers and politicians, have become most prevalent in our present lives. Many of us complain and are baffled by the insane ramblings of and seductive power that is the Religious Right, not understanding the whys and wherefores, of such a seemingly strange phenomenon. But really, the whole Reagan/Bush thing, it's just another Awakening in a long line of such events that started as far back as the 1730s. So what does this have to do with a person's Dark Side?

EVERYTHING.

People's dark sides I feel find there very roots in societal trends such as ours and their roots can be traced deep into the insidious nature of childhood trauma and mental illness. Family Values is just such an example.

Things such as emotional, physical, and sexual abuse, alcohol and drug addictions, and depression; all of which exists within our families and society contradicts the very premise that our society is rooted in. What are the three old sayings; the crazy aunt lives in the attic out of view of everyone because she is an embarrassment to the family, never ever divulge family secrets, and the pedophile is the guy over there that is hiding in the bushes. We as nation may laugh at the first one but it is sadly still true albeit with a twist. Now the mentally ill are just abandoned to the streets, at least here in California they are. More seriously though is the second because that is what gives strength and credibility to the shear insanity of the third. I can bet good money that, if asked, the vast majority of people will describe the typical sexual abuser as a gay man in his 40's or 50's who hides in the bushes waiting for unsuspecting kids to walk by. This is because we as family members do not stand up and say, wait that is just not true in my case. At its basic level it is the very nature of not identifying who the real abusers are that perpetuates the abuse. It is a proven fact that 90% of all abusers are immediate or extended family members of either gender and/or friends of the family.

Now I am not saying that Alexander McQueen was a survivor of sexual abuse although I would not be surprised if he was going by what little I have read about him. What was more evident was he did suffer from some sort of acute depression. This was prominent in his work, in the style of his designs, and especially in his presentation. His Spring 2010 show was masterful at showing this and it was organic and very very edgy. To me it seems that McQueen's way of coming to terms with his demons was to embrace them, give them voice, and invite them fully into his designing existence. That was the uniqueness that made him a fashion icon.

I think we all try to find ways to deal with are respective dark sides. Some just denial it's existence, others self medicate, while still others find death as the only real answer. I was crafty. I tried all three. My first attempt at suicide came when I was 17 years old. From my late teens to well into my 20's I drank, and heavily, all the while experimenting with mild drugs, all of which I stopped abruptly in the mid to late 80's. Denial would become my path of choice and it worked well for me not that I was aware I was using it. Now I'm not saying that mine was a free ride. It wasn't. In most cases when things are pushed down in one place they just pop up somewhere else and that was true for me. By the time 2004 rolled around there were way too many holes to plug in my dike for me and the dam just burst. Since then I have be trying to learn with varying degrees of success like Alexander McQueen how to coexist with my dark side.